Two years ago it was planned to introduce two new top-line multisport kayaks. The Evolution Omega was the first to be developed and it was supposed to be followed by the Evolution Cutting Edge.

The benefits of the Omega are covered in its Product Page. The Evolution Cutting Edge is history. I chopped up the plug. It was in my way. And that is that. The Cutting Edge would have replaced the original Edge. More room for wider bottoms – 30mm longer and faster. Gone for good. The Omega is the final kayak design that I will waste my time creating.

Why you may ask. The multisport market, which I helped to build (at our peak we sponsored 27 athletes and 7 events) in the late eighties and early nineties is too small to be bothered with. On top of that there is a perception, fostered by morons, that the Evolution Omega is a fraud. I do have other business interests apart from my kayak making retirement hobby. I will follow those other business interests whilst still making existing models as the orders flow in.

New models – the answer is no!

Wobblyville is the light-hearted name that some Christchurch residents now use – its recent use  helps these shattered residents cope with the debilitating earthquake aftershocks.

I have offered my services to the Canterbury Chamber of Commerce as a business mentor – having once survived a total business loss – and survived the antics of those unknown (until that time) people called Loss Adjusters. LOSS ADJUSTERS? Strange name! What do they ‘adjust’ and for whom? In our case one was a perfect gentleman. Thanks Paul. One was in the end fantastic. Thanks Ken. The other Adjuster was so bad – I sacked him 15 minutes into our first meeting. I was the customer – I had paid the premiums and this idiots’ salary.

It will not be smooth for many Wobbyville business’s. Some will need outside aid.

To get started I wish to co-ordinate some Aid for two Wobbyville business’s that I have traded with in the past.

On the Eastern side there is a business that sells Woodstock Express Lookalike multisport kayaks. They also sell a multisport kayak that reportedly has a hull ‘borrowed’ from my Evolution Edge – the one that I still own the original 1993 © artwork for. I am not 100% sure if this is true because the manufacturer concerned never answers my emails. My eye tells me ‘YES’. My customers tell me YES. The deck is shaped like a snow-plow – to reportedly keep the paddler dry!!!!! What a fantastic way to peel off forward kinetic energy in the standing wave train! LOL. Laugh Out Loud. Lots Of Laughs.

These near-neighbours of the sewerage farm go by a name that I have trouble remembering. BottomDwellers keeps jumping into my mind. There is a Boss that we will know as ‘Precious’. There is a Gofer that we will know as ‘Helper’. The last time I looked on their website, ‘Helper’ had done a test on the snowplow lookalike – and declared it to be the fastest multisport kayak ever.  ‘Helper’ would surely know? Has he ever won the Speights Coast to Coast? Unlikely! The last real business contact I had with ‘Precious’, he screamed at me “This is really all about me”. As Tui Breweries would say – Yeah right. And it could seem probable that ‘Precious’ may be fully aware of the Sisson Kayaks © design component that is reportedly contained within the greater snowplow lookalike. These guys surely need aid.

On the Western side of Wobblyville lives George who trades as Composite Supplies Ltd. For many many years I was (stupidly) a loyal customer of George. Sadly, about two years ago,  George went a bit strange and substituted all of the grades and quantities of raw materials that I had (in writing) ordered. Sadly, I did not notice until after I had used some of them. My 30+ years of kayak building experience evaporated – and I produced two second grade kayaks that had to be sold at low prices – but only after many hours of detailed and obvious repairs.

In order to generate a face-to-face discussion with George I am two years later withholding the last $300 off his account. He initially over-charged me almost $60 per lineal metre for my Kevlar. Supposedly a bargain for the complete 133 metre roll! Sadly for George – and gladly for me – for the past two years I have been buying my Kevlar by ‘cut-length’ (the expensive way!) volumes – for a little over 50% of what George overcharged me. Thousands of $$$$$$ gouged from Sisson Kayaks Ltd already.

Georges response – still no face-to-face meeting – but he did erect of a sign on SH 1 at Amberley  that said “Sisson Kayaks owes us money – do they owe you too?”. I know it was George who erected that sign – because at that time Composite Supplies Ltd were our ONLY Sisson Kayaks Ltd supplier not paid 100% up-to-date and in full!!!! Thanks a lot for the positive identification of your pathetic ‘black-mail’ action George. George surely needs aid.

Reportedly, within the back yard of both of these Wobblyville business’s were some large holding tanks that the earthquake has reportedly ruptured. Reportedly the environment damage has been zero. Both tanks were reportedly near empty. The ‘contents’ sign on the side of both tanks reportedly  reads “BUSINESS ETHICS”.

I appeal to the nation. If you have any spare BUSINESS ETHICS – please urgently ship any surplus ones to me. I will make sure that they reach a good home. As far as I am aware – only these two tanks need an urgent top-up. I am disregarding certain finance companies – that never invested in such holding tanks in the first place .

Then all will be great – once the Loss Adjusters leave Wobblyville – leaving behind them a lot of satisfied insurance claimant customers.

Disclosure.
The SH1 sign was removed by Amberley Police. I now own it. The plywood will surely be useful one day. I still own the original artwork relating to my © claim on all-or-part of the 1993 Evolution Edge design. It would nice to drag it into a courtroom – spiders and all.

Since 1990 I have been a Telecom Mobile customer – starting with a Radiant car phone that was big enough to be denied onto an airline as carry-on baggage. Over the years that we traversed the whole of New Zealand doing our kayak demo’s we were constantly amazed with the coverage. We used to hear horror stories about Bell South – the outfit that Vodaphone bought out.

Being an Apple computer ‘nutter’ (They just work! And zero virus’s – zero time wasted on virus protection) I just had to have an IPhone. And Vodaphone had a deal that looked too good to miss.

Since 1993 Sisson Kayaks has had a customer freephone (0800 656 900) that has since 1997 been directed to my mobile. Over the years this customer service has been well used. But not over the past 9 months. Why?

My Vodaphone IPhone has been a fantastic IPod. And good for all of the other features it provides – except it has been a lousy telephone!

The published Vodephone coverage map is based on fantasy. And so often I received reminders of messages left – whilst in good coverage areas – while I worked alongside my phone. Undercapacity.

I wish to say a big “sorry” to all those people who assumed that my Vodaphone IPhone was a telephone.

I have recently rejoined Telecom Mobile – and for the first time I am experiencing a telephone function on my IPhone. And the tethered data speed to my laptop (when I am traveling) is faster than the hard wired Broadband at home. In two weeks I have spoken to more customers than in the previous nine months.

Well done Telecom. I am glad to be back. I know that you suffered some breakdowns in the past. But hey – Vodaphone are effectively ‘broken’ every day.

The Sisson Kayaks Freephone number is 0800 656 900. Please use it – and allow me to keep testing the XT network! I am so far – amazed.